Parenting Advice For Three Year Olds

Five teachers using a combined 90 years of experience share advice for parents of 2- to 5-year-olds. Getting the Best Out of Your Child I fear my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At college she cleans up her toys, puts on her shoes, and is entirely self indulgent at potty time. At home, she yells whenever I ask her to pick up anything, insists I join in the bathroom whenever she must go, and recently has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Certainly, her instructor understands something I don't. But then, what parent hasn't occasionally wondered: Why is my child better for everyone else than for me? The simple answer: Your child tests her limits with you because she trusts you will love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean that you can't borrow a few plans from the preschool teachers' playbook to get the best from the little one. We requested teachers from all over the country for their tips so listen up -- and take notes! .

Lighten up

If your child refuses to do something, try turning it into a game. Humor and matches are two great tools that parents sometimes forget about in the heat of this moment, states Zebooker. When her son, now 13, was in preschool, she had to convince him to put his shoes on in the afternoon by playing shoe shop. I would say, 'Welcome to Miss Mommy's Shoe Store, I've got the best pair for you to test on today,' and that I 'd speak in a ridiculous accent and he adored it. (that I 've had luck using this strategy with Sophie, who was able to clamp her mouth shut whenever I attempted to brush her teeth. We play with the Permit 's Guess What You Ate Today game -- and she willingly opens so I can search her molars for cereal, strawberries, or mac and cheese.)

Resist doing for her what she can do herself.

When it might be faster and easier to do it yourself, it won't help to make your child more self-sufficient. Speedy suggestion: Appeal for her sense of pride, indicates Donna Jones, a preschool teacher at Southern Oregon University's Schneider Children's Center in Ashland, Oregon. Whenever I'm trying for children to dress, put coats on, sit on seats during meals and so forth, I'll inquire 'Would you need me to assist you or do you do it yourself? ' These words are like magic, promises Jones. The kids always need to do it, best ideas.

Expect more.

Most of us have a means of living up (or down) to expectations -- preschoolers included. At college we expect the kids to pour their own water at snack, to throw away their plates, to hang their coats -- and they do, says Jennifer Zebooker, a teacher at the 92nd Street Y Nursery School, in New York City. But then they'll walk out of this classroom along with the thumb goes in the mouth and they climb into strollers. Raise the bar and your little one will likely stretch to fulfill it.

Do it to music.

There's a reason the cleanup song functions. Set a task to songs, and suddenly it's fun, states Sandy Haines, a teacher in the Buckingham Cooperative Nursery School, in Glastonbury, Connecticut. If you're not feeling creative, suggest racing a song: Can you get dressed prior to Raffi completes singing 'Yellow Submarine'?

Assign a chore.

Putting your preschooler in control of a routine, easy task will build her confidence and sense of competency, says Buss. A child who is entrusted to water the crops or vacant the clothes dryer is very likely to think she can also get dressed herself or pour her own cereal. Just be sure the job you assign is manageable and that it's real work, not busywork, because even preschoolers understand the difference. The goal is to make your kid feel like a competent, contributing member of your family.

Promoting Freedom

While 3- and 4-year-olds still require plenty of parental help, our preschool experts agree that children are typically able to do more than many people think. Here's how you can promote them: